Personal Experiences

A rant on boobs from someone who has a pair

I was at Target today perusing the lingerie section for a new bra when I came across the smallest adult-sized bra they carry: 32AA.  Now, I have never seen this size at all before.  I had only ever heard about it in passing several years back in an ad campaign for another lingerie company, but I could just be misremembering.  I was amazed, and still am, about the size of this bra!  It looks like it was misplaced from the girls’ section to the women’s section.  I was so intrigued by the novelty that I took a couple of pictures and texted them to my friends.

Some backstory for you: I am a larger-chested woman.  My bra size is actually 38DD

After I got over my wonderment, I realized smaller-chested women probably go through something like this when they see ridiculously larger bras.  There are some with cups larger than my head.  I could probably use one to parachute.

Then I started thinking about boobs and bras and all I’ve encountered with them.

For all of my post-pubescent life I have had large boobs, so that’s all I really know.  Once they settled in after first appearing, I was actually really happy about them.  I had built-in accessories that would help to emphasize my femininity.  I’d wear shirts that teased that I was capable of showing cleavage, like boat neck tees, henleys, and ribbed tanks.  Hell, I was even using my bra cups as pockets.  I still do it to this day.  You know, use what your momma gave ya!

Then as I got older, I realized that although big boobs helped with my identity, there was also a downside.  Or several.  For the sake of time, I’ll narrow it down to four.

  1. Wearing a bra is almost always a necessity.  Because of being a 38DD, if I were to go out in public, it’d be extremely obvious that I was not wearing a bra.  My boobs would be loose, separated, and lower than usual.  There’d also be far more jiggle than necessary.  Even with a large hoodie on, it’s still noticeable.  And it’s not just the look of the boobs, but in a cooler atmosphere, nipping out can occur.  Having witnessed a nipply situation on other people, it can be a bit awkward.
  2. Big boobs can and will be painful.  I do go braless when I’m at home, but it can become painful.  Jean-Denis Rouillon conducted a study at University of Franche-Comté regarding the benefit of bras to boobs.  The results: bras actually make boobs sag.  The chest muscles that support the boobs weaken with repeated use of bras causing them to sag sooner than nature intended.  That being said, I tend to hunch when not wearing a bra because my boobs are heavy and that’s how I compensate for it.  Not just that, but when I have to run or move quickly without adequate support, my boobs feel as if they’re heaving and swinging and pulling against my chest.  Totally not comfortable.  My usual gym attire consists of two sports bras to alleviate the jiggle.
  3. Shopping for a bra is daunting.  If you remember from earlier, I was at Target searching for a bra.  At all the Target locations in my town, the largest size they carry for bras is 40D.  Now, you may say, “But Monika, you said you’re a 38DD, why would you buy a bra at Target if they don’t carry your size?”  The answer is simple: I’m cheap and lazy.  The popular spot is Victoria’s Secret, and I’ve been known to indulge, but it’s expensive.  The last bra I purchased from there was $52.50.  For one bra!  So, I go to Target because they carry close to my size with bras for a quarter of the price.  I’d sacrifice double-boob to save $40.  Most women understand the struggle of bra shopping, you have to be in the mood for it because it takes a lot of patience and usually a full day for one bra.  Even if you do manage to find a bra, you’re limited by the color selection.  There’s mostly only blacks, whites, nudes, and occasionally one or two fun colors like a navy blue or deep red.  You don’t get the fun patterns or the bright colors, you just get saddled with the practical colors.
  4. Clothing can be a hassle.  What I mean by that is I’ve come across cute clothes that don’t and won’t fit because of my boobs.  Back in college, a Forever 21 opened up at the mall near my college, so a friend and I went to check it out.  There was a black top that caught my eye, so I grabbed the largest size they carried and tried it on.  I couldn’t even pull it over my boobs.  Because of that situation and other similar experiences, I shop mostly for looser, flowing tops.  Aside from the threat of ripped clothing, I also suffer from bacon shirt.  Bacon shirt is an affliction in which the wearer’s shirt will wrinkle across the cleavage due to the boobs stretching the shirt.  Usually bacon shirt is evident while the shirt is being worn, but occasionally the shirt will be stretched so frequently, that the shirt will maintain the overstretched shape.  Another issue is not being able to see much below the boobs.  If a stain or mark occurs on my shirt below my boobs, I won’t know about it until I look in a mirror or until someone tells me.  I once marked up a goldenrod shirt with a black pen right below my boobs, and apparently it had been there for a few hours, but no one told me about it until after lunch because they didn’t want me to feel embarrassed.

Given the struggle of larger boobs, I wouldn’t trade mine for the world.  They’re a big part of me.  No pun intended.  There are some good things about them, too.  I can fill out a low-cut dress or shirt very nicely, I can hide things in my bra like my wallet contents on a night out or lip balm on a daily basis, and I can use them for warmth when my hands get cold.  Just like everything else, there’s good and bad to large boobs.  And sometimes I just like to rant about the curse of big boobs.


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